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Humor | October 5, 2012

The caped impersonator

Humor

Sometimes it's best just to be yourself

The real Batman (from The Dark Knight Rises)

It's been an odd week in the annals of crime. For starters, a Utah man received a call on his cell phone from his home phone and assumed it was a burglar calling him. So naturally, he called the police. When investigators arrived, they found nothing broken or missing inside the house. It turns out that the man's dog placed the call by accidentally hitting the redial button on the receiver. Poor dog, he must have thought he would spend a long time in the dog house for that one. At least he manged to stay out of the big house.

Meanwhile in Michigan, authorities say they captured a runaway suspect trying to hide in a backyard hot tub after a more than 100 mph car chase. The Van Buren County sheriff's department reported one of its deputies stopped a pickup truck early Wednesday morning for a defective plate. After pulling over, the driver took off. He eventually lost control and the pickup overturned in Almena Township, west of Kalamazoo. The man then fled on foot. Thanks to the tracking efforts of a Kalamazoo police dog, officers found the runaway driver hiding in a hot tub with a cover over it. I don't blame him for wanting to spend some time in the spa. After a long day of evading arrest, sometimes its nice just to kick back and relax.

Finally, Batman is on the loose and trying to stop crime. Except this Batman is not the suave, and effective, Dark Knight of the movies. No, this guy is 33-year-old Mark Wayne Williams, a badly dressed Batman impersonator with a can of pepper spray. State troopers arrested Williams after he refused to leave them alone at a crime scene last Saturday night. "He wouldn't clear the scene, and we had a canine out there and he kept screwing up the scent," State Police Sgt. Jeff Gorno told the Petoskey News. "He said he wanted to help us look for the fugitive." But officers feared the dogs would get confused and try to track Batman instead of the suspect. Williams wasn't carrying any dangerous weapons, but officers confiscated his costume and gear, Gorno said. And this isn't even Williams' first brush with the law as the caped crusader.

Officers arrested Williams last year someone reported seeing a man dressed as Batman on the roof of a Petoskey business. When officers arrived, they found Williams, dressed as Batman and carrying a baton-type striking weapon, a can of pepper spray and a pair of sand-filled gloves. He pleaded guilty to one count of attempted resisting and obstructing a police officer and was sentenced to six months of probation, during which he was forbidden to wear costumes, including his Batman get-up. Williams said at the time that he never intended to harm anyone. He probably didn't, but he is doing monumental damage to the good name of superheroes everywhere. This is just one more reason why superhero costumes should not come in adult sizes.